Tuesday, December 25, 2007

7 Effective Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem

1. Get a life purpose statement.

A well thought out life purpose statement is a powerful way to boost your self-esteem. It will define who you truly are, draw out your essence and affirm you. Whenever you read your life purpose statement, you will be reminded about who you are, what you represent and what you intend to accomplish in life.

2. Take personal development courses.

Investing in the acquisition of knowledge and education will boost your self-esteem many levels higher! This will give you control over your life and you will gain self-confidence that will prepare you to face and deal with anything that comes your way.

3. Take action. Do something for yourself.

Start doing something for yourself. Take positive risks with your life. Don’t live your life in chains. If you want to start a business…do it. Don’t live other peoples dreams. Live out loud, live your dream, do something that you feel is important to you. Make sure you accomplish it.

4. Socialize

Involve yourself actively in matters that interest you. Join clubs, networking organizations, associations or groups of similar interest and participate actively. Being part of a group gives you a sense of belonging, acceptance and appreciation. Knowing that you are part of something important and meaningful, does a lot to boost your self-esteem.

5. Stand up for yourself.

Don’t allow people to put you down and don’t allow other people's expectations to thwart what you are capable of becoming. Don’t put up with people or situations that negate all the positive things that you can do. Stand up for your dreams!

6. Volunteer to help the less privileged.

Volunteering will give you a sense of fulfillment, accomplishment and appreciation. Giving yourself in service to others is one of the noblest things to do. The look of gratitude on the faces of those that you have helped is enough to boost your self esteem

7. Set personal goals and accomplish them.

Living aimlessly leaves you with a feeling of emptiness and confusion. Goals give you a sense of purpose. They steer your life in a particular direction. They make your life purposeful. Accomplishing personal goals gives your self-esteem a big boost.

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Sunday, December 23, 2007

7 Dynamic Strategies for Creating a Life that Works

Everyone wants a life that works effectively, whether that means harmonious relationships, a happy family life, a successful career, or the achievement of an important mission. People with successful lives take certain actions consistently.

These seven strategies can bring more success and satisfaction to your life. There is a question after each strategy to bring insights that apply specifically to you.

1. Follow the Rules

We may not always like the rules, but that does not make us an exception to following them. Rules lend order and organization to everything we do. When followed, they also bring peace and harmony to our relationships. When rules do not work, the successful person works to change them, not break them.

Where might you be overlooking the rules and sabotaging your peace of mind and chances for success?

2. Turn Rejections into Reflections

We cannot please everyone nor conduct our lives based on what others think of us. However, we can achieve our maximum potential. Rejections and failures are learning experiences. Reflect on your strengths and on the advantages in every situation.

Realize that you will experience resistance when you attempt to do great things. Allow rejections to fortify your resolve to become more skillful.

What will you do to focus on your desired outcomes regardless of the well-meaning opinions of other people?

3. Use Your Strengths to Outshine Your Best

Think creatively instead of competitively. Rather than comparing your weaknesses to another's strengths, look at your best performance to date. Think of new ways to out-distance yourself. Respect your uniqueness by focusing on new ways to use your gifts and talents. Set a new benchmark that is all yours.

What are your greatest strengths, and how can you fine tune your performance, attitudes, and beliefs to become even stronger?"

4. Tell and Acknowledge the Truth

Truth is the foundation of integrity and character. It allows us the dignity to make mistakes, admit them, and apologize. The truth keeps us aware of our current abilities and brings a tremendous sense of freedom.

To get where we want to go, we also need to be honest about where we are now. Acknowledging the truth about what does not work allows us to begin doing what works.

What truths do you need to acknowledge that could bring more peace of mind and freedom to your life?

5. Set and Keep Boundaries

We need personal rules and limits for what we will expect and accept from others and ourselves. Boundaries are like compasses that help to guide our actions. They allow us to make decisions with confidence. They add integrity and consistency to our lives. Set firm boundaries that will guard you and guide your daily decisions.

What are the boundaries for each important area of your life?

6. Live with a Purpose in Mind

Living our unique purpose makes us feel joyfully alive. It allows us to envision and enthusiastically dedicate our time to worthwhile missions of our choosing. Living purposefully, we focus on our objectives with the resolve needed to finish what we start.

You already have a purpose. However, it is important to recognize it and keep it clearly in mind. Think about the things for which you would like future generations to remember you. Give yourself permission to embrace and achieve them. Become the master architect of your life and those things you will leave behind.

What is your action plan for fulfilling your life's purpose?

7. Balance the Roles You Play

Functioning well in our careers, families, and communities depends on allocating enough energy to each of these areas. To care for others, we need to keep ourselves fit mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Staying balanced keeps priorities in perspective and brings success and enjoyment to all the roles we play. Look at where you expend most of your energy now.

What are your most important priorities each day?

The Importance of Personal Responsibility

Woven throughout these actions is a theme of personal responsibility. People who live successfully do not shift the responsibility for their circumstances to other people. They accept ownership of their actions, consequences, and experiences.

Successful people are proactive. Instead of waiting for breaks, they make their own breaks. They identify and fine-tune their attitudes, beliefs, and actions. They search for ways to do more of what they enjoy. Proactive people meet challenges head on and affirm that they will achieve the desires of their heart.

Responsible individuals are life-long learners, always seeking to increase their skills. They welcome change, and they change with the times. They communicate with others clearly and live with a spirit of cooperation throughout the many changes life brings.

What personal challenges repeatedly hold you back? What are you willing to accept ownership of in order for your life to work?"

A Call for Action and Commitment

Think of several ways you could apply each of these strategies. Reflect on each of the questions and write an answer for each one.

By doing so, you will begin to outline a strategic plan that belongs to you. Work your plan, and keep fine-tuning your actions to point toward the results you want to achieve. Commit to turning these actions into life-long habits beginning today. Imagine how attractive your life will be when you have designed it to work the way you want!

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Monday, December 17, 2007

7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People

WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do.

NUMBER 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.

Yup. They see problems in every opportunity.

They complain that the sun is too hot. They cursed the rain for ruining their plans for the day. They blame the wind for ruining their hair.

They think that everyone is against them. They see the problems but never the solutions.

Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of tragedy. They regard failures as catastrophes. They become discouraged easily instead of learning from their mistakes.

They never seem to move forward because they're always afraid to come out of their comfort zones.

NUMBER 2 - They Act Before They Think.

They move based on instinst or impulse. If they see something they like, they buy at once without any second thought.

Then they see something better. They regret & curse for not able to take advantage of the bargain.

Then they spend & spend again until nothing's left. They don't think about the future. What they're after is the pleasure they will experience at present.

They don't think about the consequenses. Those who engage in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in this group.

NUMBER 3 - They Talk Much More Than They Listen

They want to be the star of the show. So they always engage in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of lying.

Oftentimes they are not aware that what they're saying is not sensible anymore.

When other people advise them, they close their ears because they're too proud to admit their mistakes.

In their mind they're always correct. They reject suggestions because that will make them feel inferior.

NUMBER 4 - They Give Up Easily

Successful people treat failures as stepping stones to success.

Incompetent ones call it quits upon recognizing the first signs of failure.

At first, they may be excited to start an endeavor. But then they lose interest fairly quickly, especially when they encounter errors.

Then they go & search for a new one. Same story & same results. Incompetent people don't have the persistence to go on and fulfill their dreams.

NUMBER 5 - They Try to Bring Others Down To Their Level

Incompetent people envy other successful individuals. Instead of working hard to be like them, these incompetent ones spread rumors and try every dirty trick to bring them down.

They could've asked these successful ones nicely. But no, they're too proud. They don't want to ask advise. Moreover, they're too negative to accomplish anything.

NUMBER 6 - They Waste Their Time

They don't know what to do next. They may just be contented on eating, getting drunk, watching TV, or worse, staring at the blank wall with no thoughts whatsoever to improve their lives.

It's perfectly fine to enjoy once in a while. But time should be managed efficiently in order to succeed. There should be a proper balance between work & pleasure.

NUMBER 7 - They Take the Easy Way Out

If there are two roads to choose from, incompetent people would choose the wider road with less rewards than the narrower road with much better rewards at the end.

They don't want any suffering or hardship. They want a good life.

What these people don't know is that what you reap is what you sow. Efforts & action will not go unnoticed.

If only they would be willing to sacrifice a little, they would be much better off.

Successful people made it through trials & error. They never give up. They are willing to do everything necessary to achieve what they aspire for in life.

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Monday, December 10, 2007

6 Simple Steps To Accelerating your Learning

What is Accelerated learning?

Simply put, accelerated learning is the ability to absorb and understand new information quickly, and also to be able to retain that information.

It involves the process of unleashing the abilities within us. Every one of us learn differently. Accelerated learning calls upon us to learn techniques of learning that exactly match our personal learning styles. When we are learning in our preferred ways, learning becomes natural, easier and faster. That's why it's called accelerated learning.

Basically, the brain can be thought of being made up of the "Left Brain" and "Right brain". The left brain is the expert in language, mathematical processes, logical thoughts, sequences and analysis. The right brain specializes in rhythm, music, visual impressions, color, and pictures. Although each is dominant in certain activities, both sides are involved in almost all thinking. The point is that to learn the accelerated way, you must involve your whole brain.

Have you heard of the 8 intelligences? Can you name all 8 to me? There are 8 multiple intelligences : Linguistic, Logical-Mathematics, Visual-Spatial, Bodily-Kinesthetic, Musical, Interpersonal, Intrapersonal, and Naturalist as put forth by Harvard professor of education Howard Gartner. In accelerated learning, we use our strongest form of these 8 intelligences and learning will then be more enjoyable.

To master the art of accelerated learning overnight is impossible. It takes time and effort to increase the rate at which you learn. Still, let me give a brief overview of the entire process of accelerated learning. The 6 simple steps to accelerating your learning are:

Motivating the mind - motivating yourself so that you are in a confident and resourceful state that best supports learning. There are several ways, including the use of visualization, affirmations, and goals-setting.

Acquiring the information - using your personal and preferred way of absorbing the information. There are 3 distinct styles of processing information that we use. We'll use all 3 styles, only the degree to which we use them differs and that accounts for our varying styles of learning. The 3 styles are Visual ( seeing ), Auditory ( hearing ), and Kinesthetic ( physical activities and involvement ). So, your job is to find out your preferred style of learning and use methods of learning that correspond to your style.

Searching out the meaning - when what you're learning has meaning to you, remembering it is will be an easy feat! Again, this depends on the most dominant form of intelligence in you and how you exploit it.

Triggering the memory - recall whatever you've learned at will with proven memory techniques. Such techniques may include the link method, the number-shape methods and so on. You have to consider the workings of memory and learn only when your memory is in an optimal state.

Exhibiting what you know - show that you know and fully comprehend what you've learned. If your learning and absorption of the information have been effective, you must be able to be fully capable of showing it anytime and anywhere. If you can really show that you know, you have absolutely comprehended the material you've learned!

Reflecting upon what you've learned - learning is a continuous process; we must learn from our mistakes. Self-analysis is important as it marks the end of the accelerated learning of a skill or new knowledge. When, upon finishing your learning of something, you reflect upon the process itself.

Of course, reading about the process and not taking action will not in any way serve you to master accelerated learning. If you're still unsure of how to proceed to really go into deeper depth into accelerated learning, you may download my free accelerated learning ebook course at: http://self-improvement101.uni.cc/free-self-help-courses/mental/accelerated-learning.htm

Remember, the essence of accelerated learning is in using methods of learning that really suits your natural learning style. Good luck with your quest towards accelerated learning!

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Friday, December 7, 2007

5 Ways to Lose Those Holiday Blues

What a great time of year! It’s a time to be thankful for what we have and enjoy all the festivities that mark a renewal of our hope and faith in the “system” that will carry us toward a bright new year.

Right… So if this is such a wonderful season, how come so many of us wind up in Yucksville? It may have something to do with losing our rational map about the time we made the turn at the Grotto of the Great Pumpkin. Let’s see if there isn’t something we can do to help brighten up this holiday season just a bit.

1. Focus the real reasons we’re celebrating.

It doesn’t make any difference if we’re celebrating Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, Boxing Day or New Year’s Day – there is a special significance attached to every holiday. When things start to get out of hand, just take a perspective break to think about why we’re observing this special event.

2. Plan ahead.

There are only 24 hours in a day and we need to sleep sometime. By doing just a little planning (and in general, sticking with the plan), we won’t be trying to accomplish everything at the last minute. Be sure to include plenty of leisure time just for you and your family or friends so you can step back and enjoy the season together.

3. Budget wisely.

It’s not very relaxing to think about having to spend the next year paying off the debts you’ve accumulated in the spirit of over-zealous giving. Put together a logical budget and stick with it. The basic rule of thumb is “If you ain’t got it, don’t spend it!”

4. Help others.

It’s the season for giving – and the most precious gift we have is ourselves. Find a way to help those less fortunate. Volunteering our services is a great way to take our minds off of the loneliness some of us may experience at this time of year.

5. Don’t over-indulge.

Too much of a good thing – food, beverages, spending, celebrating – may be fun at the time but it can also produce moderate to severe consequences. Use a common sense approach to the festivities this season. Position yourself so you will be able to truly enjoy the weeks and months that follow.

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Monday, December 3, 2007

5 Ways To Having The Happiest Valentines Day Ever! (Even When You're Alone)

The thought of Valentine’s Day conjures up romantic evenings, a candlelight dinner, and long walks with your loved one. It is, without a doubt the most romantic day of the year. So how could you possibly be expected to enjoy Valentine’s Day when you’re alone? Well, while it might not be all hearts and flowers, you can still spread the message of Valentine’s Day: Love.

Over the years, I’ve interviewed numerous people and asked them what their favorite Valentine’s Day memory was. Surprisingly, very few couples actually mentioned a gift or a special night out. In fact, most of the people I interviewed remembered their special Valentine’s Day by things they did for others. Gifts they gave, whether they were store bought or home made that gave them the feeling of joy and happiness.

A heartwarming Valentine’s Day for Jacque from California, was when she was in charge of bringing little treats for her daughter’s 3rd grade class. After agonizing on what to do, she decided to make the extra firm red Jell-O, and cut them into heart shapes. After running to the store to get more mix, and spending a lot of time cutting out the heart shapes, she was frustrated and wondered why she ever signed up for the job in the first place. Was this a big mistake? When she passed out the treats in school, the kids’ eyes lit up, and their sweet little voices filled the room with laughter and excitement. All the kids loved it! Jacque remembers feeling incredible that day. Her heart was glowing with happiness to see how much those kids loved her little treats.

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our daily chores, that we often forget that children need to be remembered too. Teenagers often feel left out on Valentine’s Day, but a handsome Colorado man gave two giggling teenagers a Valentine’s Day they will never forget. Geoff was working on a resort property trimming trees, and noticed there were two smitten teenage girls sitting on the balcony watching him while he was working. Geoff knew he would be finished on February 13th, and thought he would he would surprise them with a dozen red roses on Valentine’s Day, and signed it, the tree trimming guy. The girls were thrilled to get flowers on Valentines Day, and were still talking about it four years later! Geoff ranks that day as his all time favorite Valentine’s Day!

Making someone happy (especially when it’s unexpected) has a euphoric effect on you too. It’s happiness shared twice. Is it possible to have a happy Valentine’s Day even when you are breaking up? If you have a sister like Linda, you can. Linda’s sister was going through a divorce in February, and she was heartbroken and distraught. On that Valentine’s Day, Linda secretly sent her flowers at her office, and signed the card, “From your Secret Admirer.” As soon as her sister received them she called Linda and said, “Oh my God, you will never believe what just happened, I got these beautiful flowers today, but I have no idea who they are from!” Linda had all she could do to keep from laughing, and giving away her little secret. Linda’s sister went on to say that the entire office was trying to figure out who her secret admirer could be. Linda was happy that she could give her sister a happy Valentine’s Day even when she was facing unhappy times.

Yes, it is possible to have a great Valentine’s Day, even when things are looking a little dismal. Here are a few ways you can share your love this holiday.

5 Ways to the Happiest Valentine’s Day Ever!

  1. Send a heartfelt Valentine Card to someone who has really inspired you and tell them how much they mean to you.
  2. Make a homemade Valentine Card and send it to your favorite relative you haven’t seen in a while.
  3. Send flowers or candy to someone who doesn’t have a sweetheart, and sign it anonymous.
  4. Make a Valentine’s Basket and send it to a family that has gone through a difficult time and sign it, From Your Guardian Angel.
  5. Take your little niece, nephew, or cousin out for ice cream.

Giving is the fastest way to feel good about yourself. It doesn’t have to be expensive, even a single hand picked flower will do. Anything coming from the heart will surely be felt and appreciated. It’s two gifts in one. One is for the recipient and even a bigger gift for you.

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Thursday, November 29, 2007

5 Ways to Fight Pessimism

Some people are naturally pessimistic and are happy being so. They view themselves as pragmatic and as having a better sense of reality. Then there are those of us who feel weighed down by negativity and wish that we could be more optimistic. This is completely possible. It all lies in the way we perceive things...

1. Stress management

When we conceal our anxieties, they only build. Each concern can snowball into a feeling of being overwhelmed. Each person has their own way of letting off steam. This varies from exercise, to listening to music, to reading a good book. More of us are beginning to realize how important proper stress management is to both our physical and mental health.

2. Constant reality checks

It is sometimes necessary to debate the validity of your concerns to determine whether they are rational or not. This is called self-rationalization and one of the most recognized methods is the worst case scenario. This is when you consider the worst possible situation, then go on to consider whether it is likely to happen. For example, a loved one said they would call once they arrived by subway to a certain destination. They should have reached that destination 15 minutes ago. You may dream up scenarios of there being a train accident or some other frightful incident took place. But after a little thought, you find that it’s more probable that they either have yet to reach their stop or they will simply call you when it is convenient for them. You never want to leap to conclusions and cause yourself unnecessary stress.

3. Support of friends and family

Friends and family are usually more than willing to provide you with a much needed reality check. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have close friends and family members to confide in though. It is detrimental to find some type of support when you are feeling extremely confused or overwhelmed. This support may have to come from a trusted co-worker or a member of a support group. Sometimes all it takes is another person’s point of view to put things into perspective.

4. Own your feelings

Accept that you have complete control over your perceptions and internal responses. You may not have control over what happened on your commute to work that upset you. But you are able to decide whether you become relieved when the day is finally over, or frustrated, claiming you are always being dealt a bad hand

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Tips To Keep Happy ... Even In Wartime

The world is going downhill faster than an Olympic skier. Terrorists lurk around every corner. Climate change will soon melt the tundra and turn Iowa into a desert. Frankenstein foods are flooding the market, cleverly masquerading as innocent potatoes and beets.

And everybody is planning a war.

Sadam wants to unleash unspeakable biological evils. George Bush II wants to unleash unimaginable military might. Germany and France want to just unleash. North Korea ... need I say more? India and Pakistan want to run a nuclear relay race, and worst of all we won't even know who the good guys and bad guys are supposed to be. And I know why my Israeli friend moved back to New Jersey.

Just when we thought it was safe to sit back and take comfort in knowing exactly how bad things are, some fool has to come up with five tips to keep our spirits up in uncertain times. And that fool is me. So here are the tips:

  1. Count your blessings. We have so much to be grateful for. Iraq's dime store missiles cannot hit anywhere too important (defined more specifically as "where I live"). Then, of course, there is all the "stuff" we have, like the flush toilet (I would not want to have lived 500 years ago!) and the remote control. We can be grateful for all the variety, such as 32 flavors of ice cream on every corner and at least a dozen flavors of tooth floss. We can count our education, our knowledge and our opportunities. And we have soooo much more freedom than our ancestors. Geez, with all these blessings to count, it gets hard to enjoy living in terror of the big, bad world.

  2. Smile at a stranger. If the world shows us a threatening face, why not paint that face with smiles to make it less threatening. Let's face it, if I smile at you, you'll smile back. The more I smile, the more people will smile at me. The more you smile, the more people will smile at you. If everybody follows my advice, at least dentists will be too busy to fear world events.

  3. Learn a new skill. Imagine the sense of accomplishment and the power of mastering a new skill. Like mesquite cooking. Like whittling. Like pterodactyl breeding. Oh well, two out of three. And if you learn that skill in a classroom setting, full of other energized new-skill-masterers, you get the bonus of seeing that positive face of the world, complete with smiles and busy dentists.

  4. Study history. Bad things happen. Good things happen. That's history. Today will one day be history that somebody reads about. So don't sweat it. (Editor's note: If nobody is left to read about it, scratch this tip.)

  5. Volunteer. One of the scariest things about the world today is not just that it seems to be going downhill, but that we feel powerless to stop it. Worse still, politicians and diplomats are in charge. But we CAN take control and send the world uphill right in our own neighborhood. We can help the local animal shelter. We can work at the food bank. (That's my personal favorite, and NO you do NOT get free samples.) We can help little old ladies across the street. We can make a difference right in our own communities where the politicians and diplomats won't interrupt.

Sorry about those five tips. If you wish to ignore them and return to the regularly-scheduled misery-wallowing, please go ahead. After all, in wartime nobody really wants to be happy, do they?

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Thursday, November 22, 2007

5 Tips to Help You Win Big & Become a Village Hero

A few years ago, I returned to my impoverished village in Haiti. Many in the village came to see me—the tiny and diseased child they didn’t expect to make it. Some of them used to call me Souyen and kokobay—words that mean “crippled.” A man from the village, Alfred, reminded the people how they treated me. “Today” He said, “He returns as our village hero.”

I am sure you, too, may already be a village hero in your own way. In my case, it was the final result of personal responsibility, and a combination of strategies that prompted Alfred to call me a “Village Hero.” Let me share five of those strategies with you:

1. Practice Self-Discipline. Do you ever wonder why some have too much and others are barely surviving? The answer - discipline and self-sacrifice. Success, however you define it, is easy. But you gotta be consistent. My guess is there are a few things you could do to achieve more results in your life. Although you know what they are, you still neglect them. But listen: to be successful, you must do the uncomfortable now in order to be comfortable later.

2. Lift Up Others. Think of yourself as a pebble, and those you know as ponds. Give a little encouragement and you become a pebble in the pond. The ripples are endless. Someone you know is silently struggling and needs some uplifting words. It may be a minor detail to you, but to them, it’s a big boost. You can’t lift anyone up while lying on the ground. Say something nice and observe how you feel. Encouragement and feel-good words are FREE. Why not give them generously? Be a village hero, lift somebody up!

3. Be A Go-Getter & A Go-Giver. Maintain a balance. Take, but ask yourself, “What do I have to give?” Give a little encouragement, a little time, a little attention, and the gift of truly listening. When you can afford it, give a little money, too – maybe by dropping a quarter in that cup or sending flowers. Everyone has something to give. Avoid being called a user. Give a little and you shall receive a lot.

4. Take Responsibility. When we mess up, we need to fess up, fix it up and move on! Stop blaming! Some of us blame past circumstances for our failure. Big deal! My childhood was very depressing and the outlook dim, but I couldn't let that determine my future. Here’s what I read recently, “our background and circumstances may influence who we are, but we are responsible for what we become.”

5. Be Humble. Never be too big that you can’t identify with those in the lower rung of the ladder. We are all made of the same stuff regardless of our rank or position. It is said that you can always tell a big person by the way he or she treats little people. If there is a chip on your shoulder, send it to Silicon Valley. Remember, in God’s eyes, we are all the same. In the end, we will all leave this world without titles.

There you have it. Develop and strengthen those five attributes. The people in your village, be it from work or family, will begin to draw unto you. And soon, they will call you a “Village Hero.”

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Monday, November 19, 2007

5 Tips To Get More Out Of Your Work Day

It's easy to waste time on things that seem urgent but are not important, and even easier to get slowed down by clutter and distractions. Here are 5 solutions.

1. Carefully examine what factors you are using to set project deadlines. Then set realistic deadlines. Start with the most important things first and rearrange projects that are within your control. Then set acceptable time limits for completion.

2. Be on the lookout for time sinkholes. Those little pesky tasks that steal valuable time from your day but that don't really help you get much accomplished. Look at the activities you routinely perform each day and see which ones you can skip or limit to once or twice a week.

3. Get regular exercise at work- every day. Daily exercise even in short intervals can keep you alert, productive, and healthy. This regular exercise greatly contributes to mental and emotional fitness. Do stretches, biceps curls, and squats for 2 minutes 3 or 4 times each day.

4. Take control of your time, don't let other people waste it. If someone calls or stops by to chat and you're pressed for time, be polite, keep it short and schedule some time to get together outside of the office. Keep track of unnecessary or unproductive meetings. These can really waste time and sap your energy. Who ever is running the meeting should have an agenda they can stick to, helping the meeting be productive and concise.

5. Do you have the same deadline crunch every Friday or at the end of each month? Reexamine your work habits and identify all of the areas that are causing you to waste time or procrastinate. Start with a strategy of doing the most important things first and stick to the list. Keep yourself focused on these time management strategies and they will become a good habit, improving the quality of your work and giving you more time.

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5 Steps to Make Stress Your Best Friend

You probably think I'm wacko, but it's true - stress can be your best friend! Stress is actually a positive experience to be channeled to improve your life.

For instance, let me tell you about a small moment of stress I faced a few minutes ago.

Just before I boarded my flight from Phoenix to Seattle, I was talking to my husband Wade on my cell phone. Toward the end of our conversation, he told me how someone had commented on how the kids are dressed better when I'm around.

Now, I already know some of the things he's taken the kids to church in.....YIKES!

But, then he proceeds to tell me how Maegan had syrup in her hair, and it was all tangled, and he couldn't brush it out; so he took her over to the baby sitter that way anyway (uh-oh).

When he picked her up, they said they were going to do swimming the next day, so he took her back the next day the same way so the swimming could wash it out!!!

I about DIED!

No wonder they commented!!!!!

Now, to me, that is definitely a moment of stress!

But did you know that I gave me an opportunity to make my life and Maegan's life better?

Here, let me walk you through it.

How did I feel when I hear this story? I felt a little angry, embarrassed, frustrated, incredulous, shocked...

But did you know that it is a good thing that I felt that way? It is a good thing because it meant that it was going to cause some action.

Now, I could do a harmful type reaction and have an argument with husband, never go on a trip again, etc

or....I can use that emotion to think of a solution so that it doesn't happen again.

Which is precisely what I did.

First, I explained to my husband how to brush a girls long hair. It never occurred to me that I was the only one brushing her hair - and being a girl with long hair, it never occurred to me that someone would start brushing it from top on down! No wonder he could never get the tangles out. So, now he knows to start at the bottom and work his way up.

Secondly, I explained to him that when syrup is in the hair, you HAVE TO WASH IT! I don't know if he was waiting for it to deteriorate :-), or if he thought it would rub off on her pillow :-) or what......it's probably best I DON'T know what he thought! But anyway....

Thirdly, I explained how I washed her hair. Actually, as I right this, it is soooo hard NOT to laugh. I mean, for the moment our first two boys were born, Wade's done everything in taking care of them. And I guess he did for Maegan too, until her hair started getting long. Who would have known that a little hair could scare such a big, strong guy so much?

But, in a way, I do understand. Her head is sensitive from her cranial surgery, and he is particularly sensitive to his daughter. If she says "oww", he can't tell if it's real or not. I guess that's a mom thing.

Anyway - after I went through all of that, I told him when he needed to brush her hair and how often he had to wash it.

I just created a system so that the next time I'm on a trip, she will look great, he won't feel lost, and I won't be embarrassed.

If you look at ANY situation in life, you can go through the same process. You can face a stimulus, negatively re-act, or creatively solve.

What is in your life right now, this very second, that you are stressed about? Are you just ignoring it, hoping that it will go away? Are you trying to cover it up with eating, or are you suffering physically by lack of sleep from worry and insomnia?

Here's five steps to put your subconscious out of commission and use your conscious mind to use the stress to improve your life:

  1. Write down what is stressing you
  2. Write down how it makes you feel
  3. Write down what is good about it and what is bad about it
  4. Write down what you would do differently knowing what you know now
  5. Write a plan of what you can do or put in place so that it won't happen again or so that you'll have a positive outcome next time

Stress can be your friend. Without it, you'll never be motivated to make a change for the better. And, it will NEVER go away. Life will never reach the point where everything goes great all the time.

And don't forget to teach this to your kids! They can have such an advantage in life to learn now how to positively channel negative experience into an opportunity for growth.

You can do the written exercise with them - or hey, you can even do it while cooking!

Show them:

  • how chaos is turned to order
  • that hurrying or making yourself slow down makes something great
  • how beating and stirring and molding makes it into something better
  • how a recipe "flog" is now an analyzing opportunity to make it better the next time

You'll be teaching them really valuable important life skills and they'll be having the time of their life doing it!

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Friday, November 16, 2007

5 Steps to Greater Workplace Productivity

Step 1 – Learn a powerful key to increase financial success

Yantras are a visual representation of a mantra. A mantra is a sound that resonates in the atmosphere and creates a specific effect. A yantra is similar to a radio being turned to a specific station that, in this case, represents prosperity. The Shree Lakshmi Yantra is the yantra for financial success. It attracts abundance, prosperity, peace and harmony. Research has shown that its energetic effect is 70 times greater than that of a pyramid. By placing the Shree Lakshmi Yantra in your office, you will have a powerful ally.

Step 2 – Where to sit for maximum creativity

The east is the source of positive creative solar energy. Many studies have shown that neurons in the thalamus section of the brain fire differently depending on which way you face. This can affect how you think, as well as your ability to focus creatively on tasks without becoming fatigued.

By facing east while seated at your desk you will align yourself with this positive energy. It will enable you to get into a more creative and productive zone.

Step 3 – How to set up your desk to boost efficiency

Arrange your desk so that it is clear of clutter. A messy desk is not conducive to successful or creative work. Keep only things that are immediately needed on your desk. Then organize a file for projects or active accounts that you can draw from, work on and then put away. Better yet, set up your computer desktop in this fashion and see how quickly you will get rid of distracting clutter.

Step 4 – The foremost tip for better meetings

As we mentioned above, the direction you face has a great influence on the outcome of what you want to accomplish. Success will be maximized by facing north or east in relation to others in a meeting. The advantage is yours. Studies have shown that positive magnetic energy coming from the north helps you think more clearly and make better decisions. The positive solar energy coming from the east helps you be more creative. What a winning combination!

The shape of the table where you hold meetings also has an impact. Rectangular or square shaped tables promote fewer disagreements than round or oval ones. This is because rectangular or square shapes have a stabilizing influence on the nervous system.

Step 5 – Correct placement of electrical equipment to maximize longevity

The southeast is the direction of the fire element. Electrical equipment is associated with fire. All electric equipment and electronics should be placed in the southeast area of a room or office to optimize success and longevity.

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5 Result-Getting Time Management Tips

How often have you tried to manage your time in more productive ways, and found the process to be difficult and confusing? Perhaps you simply gave up on the idea. As one friend said, "Time management takes too much time!"

These tips will simplify time management with five important steps that can bring remarkable changes. They will allow you to easily customize a plan that will fit your specific objectives. Each action in your plan should support one of these five steps.

1. Prioritize Objectives and Actions.

Place a level of importance on each project or goal. Decide which actions are the most important for reaching your top-level objectives. Then spend the necessary time on those objectives first. That might seem obvious, but it requires thoughtful planning to prioritize time expenditures. It requires discipline to stick with the schedule.

Setting priorities also allows the mind to focus on desired outcomes. Time spent prioritizing projects, actions, and time expenditures is a wise investment of time.

2. Balance Time Expenditures.

Balancing time expenditures reduces stress. It brings success and fulfillment to both careers and personal lives. Consider all the important areas in your life, and your values for each of them.

Consider areas such as family, health, career, relationships, spirituality, and relaxation. Take into account your responsibilities and activities within each of these areas. Balanced living brings contentment that is often absent in today's fast moving world.

3. Visualize Your Outcome and Feel Gratitude.

You've prioritized and balanced your time expenditures. What results did you want to achieve from each time expenditure in step one? Why are each of those results important to you?

See those results in your mind's eye each day. Then create the unmistakable feeling that those results have already been achieved. Most importantly, create a strong, silent feeling of gratitude that you have already received each result that you visualized.

4. Measure Results.

The only way to know if your efforts at time management are working is to measure the results. If you continue to feel stressed or do not see tangible changes taking place, it's time to re-evaluate what you are doing and make changes.

5. Adjust and Repeat.

Time and its winds of constant change are sure to bring surprises that intervene in your initial plans. One of the most frequent mistakes in managing time is neglecting to fine tune. First attempts at prioritizing and balancing often need a second look. If your results are less than you wanted, return to step one. Fine tune your schedule to make it more functional.

Time expenditures will always need to be reallocated periodically. Goals, needs, values, commitments, and responsibilities change. New projects and objectives will enter the picture. Unexpected events and new relationships will require flexibility.

Increase Productivity and Satisfaction

Daily actions that support each of these five steps can bring more work productivity and personal life satisfaction. With a schedule that must be flexible, I check and adjust my time expenditures weekly. This insures that my actions are supporting my career and personal objectives. These actions for effective time-management can support your objectives also.

Stop and think of a top-level objective that you want to reach. Ask yourself this question:

"If I could choose only one activity today that would take me closer to this objective, what would it be?" You've just started the process with step number one.

Keep practicing each of these five time-management steps by applying them to your situation. You will be pleased with the results.

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

5 Proven Steps To Easily Master The Art Of The Interview And Get The Bartending Job Of Your Dreams!

Your mouth is dry, your palms are sweaty, your heart is beating so fast it feels like it is going to pop out of your chest!

Sound familiar?

For most people, interviews are uncomfortable. The mere thought of them causes anxiety and nervousness... and this is the last impression you want to give a bar manager during an interview!

The competition is fierce in this industry, so why do you always “bomb” during your interviews?

You probably walk out of them and after the fact think of all the things you could of said, how you could of answered certain questions, but this does not matter, its how you perform during the interview that gets you the job.

Theres already enough things out of your control you are competing with, so why work against yourself?

Let me show you how to be in your full power during the interview, so that scoring your dream job and leaving the competition in the dust comes easily and effortlessly to you!

1) Dress The Part

Dress as thought you already work there, give the interviewer a rock solid visual of what youd look like behind the bar... this makes it more probable hed consider you for the job.

Remember also that this is the service industry! Unless you are applying to a five star hotel, theres no reason to show up in a suit and tie for the interview. This is trying too hard. Wear the same type of attire the employees wear.

2) Eye Contact

If you cant bring yourself to make eye contact with the interviewer, you can forget about getting the job.

When asked a question, if your look to the floor or to the side when answering it gives the impression you are not telling the truth for starters, but it also represents a lack of confidence, which is not something you find among good bartenders.

Look the person in the eye when speaking and more importantly, listening. This is easier said then done if you are in a habit of not doing it. But just becoming aware of it is it all takes.

3) Act As If

There is no better remedy out there than “acting as if....” Act is if you are the best bartender this person has ever seen. Walk into the interview with that attitude and youll be surprised at the energy you feel. You will tap into raw genius that you never thought you had! You will answer questions elegantly give the interviewer exactly what they want to hear.

4) Be Direct

Rambling and excessive talking is a sign of nervousness so avoid this at all costs. Be as direct and to-the-point as possible. Not in a rude way, just answer the questions without going overboard. The interviewer will appreciate this.

5) You Ask The Questions

This may sound like a shock to you, but it is not the interviewer that should be asking all the questions during an interview. The way you want to approach an interview from this point on is... you are interviewing them! You may find that they are not the best place to work for after all.

Have your own list of questions to ask the interviewer!!! The one who asks the questions is in control, this is not to say to not let them ask you any questions, but have some of your own to balance things out. This shows professionalism, dedication and preparation.

Read More......

5 Key Ways to Attract Abundance and Prosperity

When you hear the words "abundance" and "prosperity", what immediately comes to mind?Is it money, fulfilling relationships, a lovely house to live in, peace of mind, a career/vocation that expresses your gifts?

It may be all or none of those things. It may mean something else to you. But if you want to attract more prosperity and abundance into your life, no matter how you define them, then this article outlines 5 key ways to do so.

1. Understand Attraction Law

This is better known as the Law of Attraction, as defined by Abraham Hicks, states that "you attract whatever you give your attention and energy to, whether wanted or unwanted".

So, if you're curious about what you're putting out there, look at what you are attracting, the visible results in your life. Knowing about and working with the the Law of Attraction will help you in manifesting, creating and attracting more abundance and prosperity in your life.

Once you understand it, there's no turning back.

2. You get what you focus on

One of the key concepts in the Law of Attraction is that you get what you focus on, whether that be money, relationships, employment etc). So when you focus on having less, that is the experience you create for yourself.

Saying that "I hate my job" will just draw even more attention to the aspects of the job that you don't like. Even if you look for another job, it'll be with that negative energy.

Just wanting something isn't enough, because you will still continue to think about what you don't have. Always focusing on what you lack means that you don't see the present and future opportunities, or begin to realise your true desires. You're getting in your own way!

3. Clear your head

..........to allow you to focus more effectively. Our minds are full of "stuff"; old, tired and limiting beliefs, which don't reflect who we are now, or who we want to become.

Set aside quiet time for yourself on a regular basis to get real clear about what you really want to attract in your life. Use this opportunity to ask yourself questions.

Ask yourself: "how can I create more prosperity and abundance in my life?". Once your head is clear, you will allow the answers to come to you. Meditation is a great way to start clearing the mind.

4. Appreciate life's abundance

Appreciating life's abundance is another way to opening yourself up to accept more abundance and prosperity in your life. When you fully appreciate what you have in your life, the Universe has a way of giving you more.

Keep a gratitude journal and at the end of each day, write down everything that you appreciate in your life. You'll begin to change your energy and vibration and become more internally aligned with what you want to create in your life.

5. Use prosperity affirmations

As you write your gratitude journal, it is an opportunity to write down prosperity affirmations as well. Affirmations are statements of acceptance that you use to manifest your destiny or what you want to create in your life. They are powerful, positive thoughts and words sent out to the universe.

If you want to use affirmations to create positive changes in your life, then you must first BELIEVE that this is possible. It shouldn't be a half hearted "well, I'll give this a go and see what happens".

To make affirmations more effective, put as much positive energy in writing and saying them as possible. Visualise what you want to create and let this inform your prosperity affirmations.

When you cease operating from a position of lack, you start to create the fertile conditions to make more informed decisions, identify greater opportunities and attract more abundance and prosperity into your life.

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Monday, November 12, 2007

4 Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid When Making Small Talk

The fear of saying something silly and feeling embarrassed stops many of us from contributing more to discussions at work and when we are relaxing with friends.

And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we get and the more likely we are to say something stupid.

Let us a take a look at some remedies:

1. Learn to relax when you feel under pressure.

I often talk about the importance of managing your emotions

This is an essential skill.

There are a wide range of courses and books that you can refer to if you want to learn more about relaxation.

When you feel relaxed it is easier to think on your feet and to be flexible when you need to be.

2. Prepare Yourself

Before a social gathering get ready to have something to talk about.

With the internet on your PC there is no excuse for not becoming well informed about the world. The more knowledge you have the more conversations you can contribute to.

Make a point though of reading up on a variety of subjects otherwise your conversation topics will be limited to what interests you the most. And those topics may not interest your friends as much.

3. Become genuinely interested in other people

One of the big secrets to conversation power is to shut up! We are all a lot more interested in ourselves than in anyone else.

When there is a long silence encourage the other person to talk by asking questions and taking an active interest in the answers.

Take charge of the situation if you want the conversation to continue.

4. Stupid Statements Are Allowed!

If you say something stupid it is not the end of the world. If you try to hide your error then the situation can become chaotic very quickly.

It is far better to just admit that you made a mistake. Also, accept that even smart people say stupid things some times.

As long as you accept that you will make mistakes you have nothing to worry about. Expecting yourself to be perfect is unfair and just sets you up for failure.

All you need to do now is to decide how you will deal with these mistakes when they do happen.

5. Enjoy The Silence!

When there is a long silence in a conversation what normally passes through your mind? Do you judge it as bad? Do you feel under pressure to speak?

The other person has created the silence with you. Why not wait for him to speak first? Take the responsibility off your shoulders. It takes at least two people to have a conversation.

Finally, the reason silence can be uncomfortable is because you become self conscious. You become very aware of your own thoughts and feelings

There is one great way to deal with this. Put your attention on something outside of yourself by paying great attention to the other person and whatever is going on around you in the room.

Become fascinated by what you see and hear and you will forget about your own concerns.

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4 Quick, Easy Ways to Say No to People Who Take You for Granted

No matter how wonderful you are sometimes other people will try to take advantage of your good nature. They will push you, get you to do more than your fair share and keep asking you to do even more.

And worst of all -- often your efforts will be taken for granted. Unless you can say No, the situation will not change in fact it may get even more difficult.

That is unless you can say No to these unreasonable people because very often to win respect from people you have to sometimes say No.

Here are 4 great ways to stand up for yourself and say No:

1. Soften the No

Instead of shouting No at the person and creating an uncomfortable encounter you can instead soften the No by postponing your help.

For example --

  • No, I am busy right now but I can help you in 40 minutes time
  • No, I have other things to do at the moment
  • Right now I do not have a free moment maybe later on
  • I would love to help but not at this minute, try John

What you are doing is softening the No by saying not now rather than an outright No. This is a lot easier to do especially when dealing with people who intimidate you.

2. Negotiate

To deal with people who want your help but are slow to help you -- negotiate! When they want something from you, you have the power - use it!

Say you are happy to help on one condition -- that they help you immediately when you seek their help. They will usually agree because they have to! If they say No, again as above, postpone helping them if you can.

There are some people who view the world in terms of what is in it for them and the concerns of others are of secondary importance. With these people you are wasting your time talking about your needs.

For that reason you have to link your needs to their gains by negotiating - tell them they will get what they want IF you get what you want.

3. Say No When You Do Not Care About the Outcome

When you are flexing this new found ability to say No for the first time use every opportunity to get some practice e.g.

  • In a restaurant, say no to the first table you are offered
  • at home say No to coffee when everyone else says Yes, have tea
  • In a store say yes to an offer of help but No to the product

What I mean is to say No when you are dealing with people whose approval is not that important to you. You will quickly learn through experience that it is not the end of the world if you say no and the other person is not pleased with you.

4. Say No to the Big Request and Yes to a Smaller One

Sometimes you are going to be asked to do more than your fair share. If you cannot avoid the job you may need to consider doing part of it.

A good way to handle these requests is to offer to do part of the job but not all of it. For example:

  • I will clean 2 rooms if you do the other 3 rooms
  • I can do 5 pages of the report as long as you give me the data
  • If you start the project I will finish it

By standing up for yourself on small points you will gradually assert yourself more often on the big issues. The main thing is to get started today on winning back control of your interactions with anyone who pushes you too far.

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Sunday, November 11, 2007

4 Powerful Ways To Fire Up Your Motivation

It's so difficult to go on when everything seems to fail, isn't it? Are there times in your life when you really want to call it "quits" because you just can't see any good results from all the hard work you've done?

Hold your horses!

Never ever think of giving up. Winners never quit and quitters never win. Take all negative words out of your mental dictionary and focus on the solutions with utmost conviction and patience. The battle is never lost until you've abandon your vision.

But what if you're really exhausted physically, mentally, and most of all emotionally? Here are some sources of motivation to prompt you in reaching the peak of accomplishment.

1) The Overwhelming Feeling of Attaining your Desired End

How would you feel after accomplishing your mission? Of course you will feel ecstatic. You might be shedding tears of joy. Let this tremendous feeling sink in and encourage you to persist despite all odds.

When I was studying for the Board Exams, I used this technique to motivate me. I would envision the sweetness of folks calling me a CPA. It would command respect. People will look up to me as a higher level of authority. And I would have better chances of finding a good job. I absorbed all these great perceptions into my inner being in order to achieve my ultimate goal.

2) The Reward System

How would you feel if you've entered a contest, but there are no prizes for the winners? It's not very encouraging, isn't it?

The same principles apply to your vision. Reward yourself after accomplishing a goal. Set a particular incentive for every objective.

Let's say if you've achieved a particular task, you'll treat yourself to your favorite restaurant. When you've finished a bigger task, you'll go on a vacation.

Got the idea?

Just set something gratifying to indulge in after completing a certain undertaking.

3) The Powerful Force of Humanity

If you want to succeed, surround yourself with the right kind of people who will support and encourage you all the way.

Be with people who have the same beliefs and aspirations as yours. Positive aura is generated by this fusion of collective energy from people of "like minds."

On the contrary, being with people who oppose your ways of thinking may trigger a negative, yet very powerful, kind of motivation.

Has anyone ever said to you that "You'll never get anywhere" or "You're wasting your time with what you're doing?"

Didn't it made you furious and determined enough to prove to them how wrong they were? This is what I'm talking about.

When aggravated, you will do anything to make those who are against you swallow their words. But of course, your main focus should be on the acccomplishment of your goal and not for the purpose of revenge. Never let your emotions toward others alter your main objective.

4) Take Care Of Your Health

Exercise regularly. Fill your brains with enough oxygen to allow you to do your daily tasks with more vigor and energy.

Take regular breaks if time allows. Having the will power to continue despite all hardships is extremely important, but you should still know your limits.

If you don't take enough rest, you will not be able to think clearly and you will not be able to do your tasks properly. In the process, you will just get more frustrated.

Take sufficient sleep and recharge yourself after a hard day's work. Never, ever ignore your health. I've learned my lesson when I sacrificed my health for the sake of success. I've worked very long hours everyday and just got minimal sleep. As a result, I became ill.

It's not worth it. Success won't matter if you don't have good health to enjoy it.

Fire up your motivation and live life to the fullest!

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3 Steps to Defining Success and Defining Your Future

Q: Are you a success?

A: Its all in how you define the word!

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican Village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

Inside the boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The banker complimented Miguel, the Mexican, on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. Miguel replied that it took only a little while.

The banker then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more fish. Miguel said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The banker then asked, But what do you do with the rest of your time?

Miguel said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor."

The banker scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.

Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

Miguel asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?"

To which the banker replied, "15-20 years."

But what then, senor?

The banker laughed and said "That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce a public listing and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."

"Millions, senor? Then what?"

The banker said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings, where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

What is your definition of success and how are you getting there?

As the story of Miguel so eloquently illustrates, life success is so closely tied to our values and the way that we want to live our lives. We can easily lose direction and what is truly important to us by being drawn to what success means to other people, ideologies, or pop culture. Being clear on what success means to you and how you are working toward it is EVERYTHING!

Check Yourself

Take a moment to ponder the direction that your current choices are leading you in your life, career, relationships, and health.

Now, make sure you are clear that how you are living in relation to each area is how you ought to be living according to your personal values. You may need to first get clear about your values in each area. Hint: grab a pen and paper for this one.

Finally, identify one step you could take in each of the four areas that would bring you closer, or more fully into, what is truly successful in these areas.

Just as the investment banker believed that Miguel should live by the bankers definition of success, so do we often live our lives by a completely different definition of success than we truly ought.

A thoughtful check of your internal map and compass could start small changes that can take you to destinations as different as Wall Street is to a small fishing village in Mexico!

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Thursday, November 8, 2007

3 Little Words Equal More Power To You!

Life shouldn't be so complicated. Have you ever wondered why it is? Have you ever thought; "why can't I figure this out?" Have you ever said; "I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem?" Why are our lives so complicated?

And Even My Reality Check Bounced!

I think living is a lot simpler than what we realize. I think living can be boiled down to three words. Listen, then Act! Listen to what? Act on what? How about listening to that still quiet voice inside your head that is constantly trying to get your attention?

How many times have you had a big issue to deal with and had a thought that you just let pass. Maybe you thought; "no, that won't fix it!" Then another; "nah…that's not the answer either." Now granted, maybe it didn't look like the right solution. Maybe it just didn't have the right feel, or some elements seemed to be missing.

Well, hardly is any solution as clear as crystal when it first comes to light. There are always some facets of it that need to be hammered out. And, that requires some more "listening." But, most of the time we go running off half cocked with partial information and cause ourselves a big pain in the neck.

Earlier we said living can be boiled down to three words. Listen then Act. Acting is only half of what we need to do to bring success. The problem is; most people spend ninety percent of the time focused on the acting and ten percent focused on the listening, if any at all.

Waiting Lasts Too Long!

Inherent in listening is an element of patience. And most of the time, we find ourselves long on need and short on patience. Living in a microwave world makes it tough to live patiently. But, learning the art of listening will make patience seem more tolerable.

Here's why. Waiting on something we desperately need, makes us feel like we are idle and irresponsible. Keeping the patience makes us feel like we're doing nothing.

We keep having the feeling, "we should be doing something." Maybe you have heard the saying, "if it is to be, it's up to me!" Maybe so, but, not necessarily Tonto. You have some help you may not even know about.

Patience just doesn't conjure up the right kind of emotions in us to be still that long. The more the time passes the more impatient we become. But, Listening seems to be, and feels more like a pro-active function that we can tolerate.

Easy AS ABC!

It feels, at least somewhat, that we are doing something constructive to the completion of this problem. And the good part about listening is, that it's our spirit trying to give us the answers we need.

But, to make this an analogy; our spirit is a perfect gentleman/lady. He never imposes himself on our desires. If we want to go off half cocked, he will just be silent till we calm down. When we finally get quiet, he will give leading once again.

Maybe that just answered a question that many have had about why inspiration comes so sporadically. Have you ever had to wait till the fifty ninth second to get an answer you needed?

At the very last moment of truth, you were finally and totally out of all answers, ready to just let happen whatever was going to happen, and in the quietness of your mind and body your spirit sends the answer. Personally, for me, this happens mostly when I'm totally out of all resources to help myself.

Getting Over The Hump!

Have you ever said this to someone; "the answer is just on the tip of my tongue?" That's a pretty good sign you need to get quiet and spend a little time listening to your spirit. He's trying to give you answers and you are too busy doing "stuff", that's going nowhere, and wandering around, for forty years, on the back side of the desert.

The point I'm trying to make is; we are the ones that make our lives complicated and difficult. Life was never meant to be a series of disappointments followed by death. We are just not using the tools we have been given to live it efficiently.

The hardest problems I've ever solved in my life were the ones that I just jumped right on top of and showed it who was boss. I may have solved it, but, I knew I had been in a fight with Magilla Gorilla when it was over.

Give It A Rest!

The easiest problems I've ever solved in my life were the one's that I took the time to listen to my spirit and see what he might have to say about it. A word of caution! You can't listen effectively to your spirit while watching the Texas Chain Saw Massacre! Sorry, but he wants some quiet in the room!

Now I'm not trying to tell you that you need to spend ten hours a day listening to your spirit and trying to find out what he has to say about any problem you may be facing. Your spirit's got more sense than that. He's no dummy and realizes you have to make decisions.

What your spirit wants from you is a little respect and recognition. He wants you to run to him for answers instead of running headlong into a brick wall and wind up chasing your tail in every direction. You ever seen a dog chasing his tail? Going in circles and not getting anywhere! How dumb can you get?

Learning how to listen to your spirit only takes a few minutes a day. Daily practice of quiet time and listening will bring great rewards. The more you do it, the more you will be able to discern good information from "noise" in your mind which is just chatter.

Deep in your spirit is the answer for every problem life can throw at you. But, your spirit has some rules and you have to follow them. They're not hard. As we said, living was not designed to be hard; we are the ones that make it hard.

The Two Commandments!

Rule number one: recognize that quiet time, listening to your spirit, is crucial for your problem solving ability. Rule number two: develop a little humility when the answer comes. And, when you solve it, don't be too quick to hog all the credit. A little humility won't hurt you.

Let me give you an illustration: Find a quiet place, sitting in a comfortable chair, with good posture, close your eyes and blank everything out of your mind.

As you remain quiet thoughts and ideas will come to you. Some will be noise and chatter; some will be worth listening to for more information. The longer you do it, the more efficient you'll become at listening.

Last But Not Least!

Finally, when the most plausible answer comes, the one you feel has the best chance of working, get up and go "act". But, you didn't need me to tell you that. Most of us are pretty good at burning the candle at both ends. But, "listening to our spirit", tends to get our knickers all in a twist.

Read More......

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do

Small talk used to be really hard work for me. I never knew what to say and I always worried about saying the wrong thing.

Then something awful happened to me....

I had to take a job dealing with the public. My worst fears came true and I had to make small talk with a whole range of people each and every day.

I found it difficult, tedious and nerve wracking.

Eventually after a lot of trial and error I got the hang of it. And today I find it easy to do and even enjoyable.

You can do the same when you learn a few key distinctions:

1. Understand that the purpose of small talk is not to exchange information.

It is a game you play to find things you have in common with the other person.

Decide to be intensely curious about the other person and go fishing for what you have in common. When you are genuinely interested in other people they will respond positively to your questions and to the way you listen to what they have to say.

When you take the pressure off yourself to be a great conversationalist and become a detective searching for commonality the conversation tends to take care of itself.

Why?

Because people like people that are like them.

The more commonality you discover, the more the other person will like you and feel as if they have known you for some time.

This in turn causes the conversation to flow.

2. Give first to encourage sharing.

If all you do is ask questions the other person will feel as if they are being interrogated.

That is not the idea!

Be prepared to reveal something about yourself first without getting too personal.

By sharing first you are leading the way and cause the other person to feel obligated to return the favor.

Sharing and receiving in this way allows you to take charge of any conversation and to easily lead it where you want to go.

3. Aim to control the conversation.

If you can lead a conversation you can control it. You now know how to lead any conversation - give first and watch the other person respond.

Most people will follow your lead right away. If the person does not just move on to someone else.

Never shoot for 100% with people as its not a realistic goal. Life does not work like that.

And remember...

The key to success with these distinctions is to use them, play with them and then adjust them to suit you.

For the sake of 10-15 minutes a day, every day, you can progressively get better and better at making conversation.

Its not rocket science. Its just a matter of strategy - knowing it and using it.

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3 Keys to Fulfill Your Wildest Dreams

If you’d like to fulfill your long-held dreams, try a radical approach. Radical people create their own breakthroughs for getting the job, love and health they really want. Nonconformists open to options for achieving “extraordinary” goals that others don’t see.

Take Christopher Columbus for example. Columbus played outside the box. When conventional wisdom proclaimed as fact the world was flat, he held the extreme notion that he could sail over the edge and land in China instead of deep space. This rebel sailed his clipper ships where no one had ever gone before—and reshaped people’s view of the world!

Discovering Fresh Options

Five centuries ago, Europeans reacted with disbelief when they heard that the world is round. So mind-blowing—and threatening to their current belief system—was the discovery that people wanted to discard the news as rubbish.

What about enlightened people of the 21st century? If Columbus were to sail into our modern lives with revolutionary factual information about our world, would people believe him now? Let’s see how open we are!

Besides demonstrating that the earth is round, Columbus made another equally mind-popping discovery. His revelation is about the power of cultural belief systems and how people see only what they believe they will see. And, like the Europeans, most people of our time want to discard Columbus’ radical news as rubbish.

What information could be so extreme that our educators and media—our mythmakers—would try to exclude this vital data from schoolbooks and public knowledge?

A World of Beliefs

Columbus’ arrival in the New World revealed how cultural belief systems determine what people see—or don’t see. Columbus found that the native people in this new land couldn’t see his clipper ships. The natives were unable to see the big ships because they didn’t believe that big ships existed!

You See What You Believe

In 1492, Columbus landed on the island of Hispaniola, now the countries of Haiti and the Dominican Republic. Until Columbus’ arrival, the islanders had only seen and heard of small boats—like their own canoes. The tribe had never seen nor heard of large ocean-going sea craft. So when the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria arrived, the natives couldn’t see the big ships of Christopher Columbus! And the vessels were floating in plain sight right off shore!

“I Don’t See Any Big Ships!”

Why couldn’t the islanders see the big boats? Because nobody in their culture had ever seen big boats before. And nobody had ever written or talked about big boats in their society.

In any culture, the mythmakers—teachers, historians and media—decide people’s reality. The specific world that mythmakers talk and write about determines the aspects of reality that people are able to perceive. The world that these storytellers talk and write about creates a belief system unique to each culture. And this belief system acts as a filter, screening out realities that don’t fit into the cultural conditioning of the society.

The mythkeepers who shaped the islanders’ belief systems didn’t recognize the possibility that large ships might exist. And the filter of this belief prevented the natives from seeing the three large sea vessels. … At first!

3 Keys for Unlocking New Possibilities

The island shaman wasn’t able to see the ships when they first arrived. Like his tribespeople, the shaman medicine man wasn’t able to see past the filters of his cultural conditioning.

But unlike the common folk of his tribe, the medicine man was educated by radical mythmakers—shaman elders. These nonconformist teachers were always exploring “new worlds.”

From these elders, the shaman learned that a person only sees the elements in the world that the person’s mind has been exposed to. The ego-mind filters out realities that don’t fit its picture of what exists in the world. But the shaman also learned from his teachers how to bypass the limitations of the ego-mind.

The elders gave the shaman these 3 keys to help him see “outside the box” of his belief system—to perceive the world as it really exists.

Key 1 - Look for a Different Pattern

The 1st key, made famous in the movie Star Wars, is to notice “a disturbance in the force.”

Anchored just offshore, Columbus’ ships are creating out-of-the-ordinary patterns in the ocean waves. Even though he can’t see the ships, the observant shaman does notice unexplained variations in the waves.

Key 2 - Don’t Listen to Your Mind!

Curious, the shaman investigates the unusual wave patterns. As he begins his inquiry, he uses the 2nd key: “Don’t trust your mind!”

Generations of medicine men and women have passed down this key to happiness. The 2nd key alerts the shaman to the limitations of his ego-mind. The shaman understands that his mind only perceives realities that his mind has been exposed to by his culture. Limited by its belief system, the mind is unaware of a boundless world teeming with unfiltered possibilities.

Key 3 - Open to New Possibilities

From his elders, the medicine man learned that any unusual pattern in our world always indicates that something has changed in our reality. But, in this instance, the shaman is not yet seeing the specific element that has been added or taken away. In order to see what element has changed, he lets go of how his ego-mind “thinks” the world operates. He opens himself to making a fresh discovery—the 3rd key.

As a result of deciding to allow new possibilities into his life, the shaman sees the cause of the peculiar patterns: the never-before-imagined clipper ships! As soon as the shaman perceives the large ships, he tells his tribe the ships exist and points to exactly where they are. The rest of the islanders are then able to perceive the vessels.

Where Are Those Darn Car Keys?

This remarkable true story resonates with me as I recall comparable experiences in my life. There have been times when I haven’t seen my car keys sitting on a table—even though they were clearly visible.

The dynamics of my situation are similar to those of the islanders who don’t see the ships because of their limited belief system. At first, I don’t see my car keys on the table. So, I decide the keys aren’t there. Once I’ve decided the keys aren’t there, I’ve created a belief that “my keys aren’t on the table.” This belief then filters out my ability to perceive the keys sitting on the table in plain sight. Only when I let go of the belief that “my key’s aren’t on the table”—and decide to open to new possibilities—am I able to perceive the keys.

Freed of his limiting belief filter, the shaman was able to see the big ships. Then by pointing out the ships, he enabled his tribespeople to see the element—the ships—blocked by their belief filter. Free of my preconceived belief that “my keys aren’t on the table,” a friend of mine is able to see the keys on the table. Then by pointing out the keys, my friend enables me to see the element—the keys—blocked by my belief filter.

Live Your Dreams!

Columbus discovered a radical new world—a world that’s ever-changing based on what we believe is possible.

What “extraordinary” possibilities have you already decided don’t exist in your world? Have you quit looking for that dream job? Seeking great health? Searching for satisfying love? If you previously made up your mind that you’ll never have a terrific job, body or relationship, guess what … ?

Be Your Own Shaman

You don’t need a shaman to point out the opportunities you aren’t seeing in life. Become a shaman yourself! Use these 3 radical keys to see the world as it really exists—and to navigate onto a new, fun playground.

1st Key: Look for out-of-the-ordinary patterns in life. “A disturbance in the force” indicates that there’s an opportunity to see a solution or a course of action you haven’t yet seen in the situation.

2nd Key: Don’t trust your mind! The suggestions of your ego-mind are limited by what you’ve experienced in the past and learned from your cultural mythmakers—your teachers and media. The beliefs of your mind filter out many advantageous choices and options that are available in life.

3rd Key: Open to fresh possibilities. Invite the unexpected. Allow exciting new options to appear “out of nowhere!”

The island natives couldn’t see the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria clipper ships because the ships were filtered out by the islanders’ limited belief system. Why miss your boat because of the limited belief system of your island? Hop on board! Sail into a new world of fulfilled dreams!

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3 Easy Ways to Reduce Stress

Stress, America’s #1 health problem, is a leading cause of major illness. In fact, heart disease, high blood pressure, and depression are just some of the harmful effects of stress. Research has shown that releasing stress and learning how to relax promotes a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life.

Here are 3 easy ways to reduce your stress fast.

1. Breathe Deeply

Take 3 slow deep breaths. Taking the breath from your diaphragm, through your nose, holding for about 2 seconds and then slowly exhaling through your mouth. Why slow deep breaths? Because when we are under stress, we tense up, constricting the oxygen to our body. Taking slow deep breaths brings oxygen throughout our body resulting in feeling centered and releasing stress. Giving your body much needed oxygen will release tension and stress fast.

2. Meditate

The purpose of meditation is to relax and to release stress. Meditation allows the body to relax and permits a means to release the "chatter" in your mind. It is important for you to know that there is no right or wrong way to meditate. Meditation is simply a form of concentration and focus; it is a process that quiets the mind. Since much of our negative stress is caused by our own thoughts, this is an especially useful method.

Here are steps for a popular, quick, and easy guided mediation:

  1. Get into a comfortable position and close your eyes.
  2. Take 3 deep breaths.
  3. Visualize all the stress in your mind and body as a cloud of gray smoke. Allow this cloud to be released through the crown of your head. Imagine the gray cloud floating into the sky and disappearing. Feel the weight of the stress being releasing out of your body and into the cloud. Allow your shoulders to drop and continue until you have no more gray smoke or for about 10 minutes.
  4. Imagine a healing white light that has surrounded your body. Feel the warmth of this light and allow it to infiltrate your body. Slowly open your eyes.

3. Try Hypnosis

This technique involves sitting comfortably with your eyes closed while listening to suggestions. Hypnosis is relaxation, focus, and suggestion. Using these three elements your mind and body will enter into a deeply relaxed state that gives you an overall sense of well being and tranquility. Hypnosis is one of the oldest and most natural modes of healing dating back to 1000 B.C. In 1958 the American Medical Association approved the therapeutic use of hypnosis. This brought mainstream recognition that hypnotherapy was a valid and legitimate form of healing. During this time hypnotherapy was respected and accepted in America.

Meditation & Guided Imagery are techniques that use the natural power of the mind in creating what you want in life. Einstein estimated that we only use 10% of our brains. In practicing Meditation and Guided Imagery, we have access to the other 90%. Since thoughts are one of the most powerful possessions we can have, it is important to keep the thoughts and images positive. Meditation and Guided Imagery works because the Physical Universe is energy, this energy is vibrating at different speeds. Energy is magnetic causing similar thoughts to attract other similar thoughts. What we dwell on, we will attract. Thoughts and ideas are high vibrating forms of energy and are very powerful. Form then follows ideas. This is the reason that thoughts and ideas in Meditation and Guided Imagery particularly must be in a positive form.

Here are some steps to make

Meditation and Hypnosis more effective.

  1. Desire- You must have the desire to make a positive change in your life.
  2. Belief- You must believe in the power of the mind.
  3. Acceptance- You must accept the process of Meditation and Hypnotherapy including the results.
  4. Set you goal- Decide on what you want and be committed to it.
  5. Create a Clear Idea or Picture- Create the vision in your imagination and make it clear.
  6. Focus on it often- Keep the images of your goal in your mind as often as possible.
  7. Give it Positive Energy- Keep your frame of mind and thoughts positive.
  8. Look For the Positive Changes- Look for the subtle ways Meditation and Hypnosis are changing your life, and believe in the magic of life!
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Monday, November 5, 2007

3 Easy Steps to Low Stress Communication

Life is all about choices. And so is the way you communicate. You can fill your days with frustrating high stress communication or you can have days of low stress effective communication with your peers.

Now take a moment to learn three ways to have low stress communication.

1. Recognize Positive Intentions

When someone you are talking to is unkind, negative or downright rude it is easy to get annoyed, angry and even aggressive.

However this will just makes the situation worse and even faster than you can imagine.

There is a better way. Instead look for the positive intention of the person you are talking to. What do I mean?

Ask yourself -- what is the positive intention behind this behavior?

If the person you are talking to is angry maybe the positive intention is to express some hurt or frustration. What is important is looking for a positive not to get the correct answer.

When you assume the person has a positive message hidden underneath the negative exterior you will have more compassion and patience and you will not feel so stressed dealing with the individual.

2. Choose Your Own Emotional State

I talk a lot about the importance of managing your emotional state. Why? Because it is an essential life skill.

Unless you are in charge of how you feel your ability to communicate effectively will always be limited and dependent on other people.

When you are in a potentially stressful situation and everyone around you is losing their cool this does not mean you have to join them! You will be able to contribute a lot more if you remain calm and centered.

Staying calm and resourceful is a choice you can make. Unfortunately it is all too easy to be a sheep and simply follow the crowd. Nobody says you have to be a sheep!

Instead make a point of keeping yourself in a resourceful state.

3. Step Outside The Situation

Whenever I am in a highly charged situation I will often step outside the situation -- in my mind. This helps to defuse the event for me.

You can do this too. Simply imagine that you are at the other end of the room watching the interaction between you and the other person or people.

It is as if you are a neutral observer with no emotional involvement in the discussion at hand.

When you do this you will think of ideas to handle the situation better and you will also feel less bothered by the stress of the other people.

This is one technique you need to play with first in easy everyday conversations. Once you get familiar with it you will find it easy to mentally step outside the event while still participating with the people in front of you.

Stress or relaxation which do you prefer?

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